A Kosher Butcher?


By Zeddy Lawrence

Editor's note: The following comes courtesy of the website Totally Jewish.co.uk which is edited by the author, who had written episodes of EastEnders and was once profiled in the Walford Gazette.

The plot is a bit of a spoiler for stateside public TV viewers, but a worthy series development that couldn't be overlooked nonetheless — at least Walford Gazette co-founder Dan Abramson (r.i.p.) would have thought so.

Being Jewish may be passed through the maternal line, according to Orthodox halacha. But it seems that when it comes to EastEnders halacha, pretending to be Jewish is something you inherit from your father.

Cast your mind back to Guy Ritchie's 2000 flick Snatch and you may recall that Mike Reid, who played the patriarch of Walford's Butcher family, Frank, swapped Albert Square for Hatton Garden. More importantly, he also swapped his trademark porkpie hat for altogether more chassidic headgear and peyot, masquerading as diamond dealer Doug 'The Head' Denovitz.

Sounds authentic, but it was all just a scam. Fast forward eight years and back in Albert Square Frank's youngest daughter seems to have seen Snatch and been rather impressed with her on-screen dad's antics.

For now Janine — the Butcher child born with not just her own brains but also those clearly left behind by big brother Ricky when he emerged from the womb — has decided that she too can make a mint (or in EastEnders terms perhaps that should be make a Minty) by also conning people into believing she's Jewish.

Which brings us to the soap wedding of the year — or rather chuppah of the year — when golddigger Janine, pretending to be a nice Jewish girl by the name of Judith Bernstein, ties the knot in Hendon United Synagogue with elderly sugar daddy David.

Having convinced her groom that her own family were all killed in a car crash, the plan comes a cropper when Ricky, Billy and Pat learn of the ceremony and decide to attend — the latter proclaiming in shul: "She's about as Jewish as a bacon sandwich!"

Meanwhile, when David, played by Harry Towb, quizzes the two men about the fact their not wearing kippot, Billy declares: "We're not Orthodox," and Ricky adds: "We're unorthodox."

Charlie Brooks, who plays Janine, told Digital Spy that her character took being Jewish very seriously. "It was a full commitment for her. She doesn't do anything by halves. As soon as her groom's dead though, Judaism's dead as far as she's concerned." Janine's wedding ran in the U.K. on EastEnders, BBC1, 8pm, 18 December.




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