Thank Heaven for Little Girls .Unlike Stacey!

By Charles S.P. Jenkins

I like to think of myself as a person with a positive outlook who can generally find the best in anyone and any situation. However, the current batch of EastEnders characters are stretching my patience and tolerance to the limit. In the last edition of the Gazette, I was belly-aching about the Millers (except for Mickey) and now, here I go again, getting up on my soapbox! I hate to admit that Keith, Rosie, Demi and Darren have been surpassed as the most boring and irritating creatures on the Square! Who would have thought that anyone could be worse than this mob? Well, like the .Eveready Bunny., they seem to keep coming and coming! So who are these dregs that now slouch around the Square taking up space and annoying the hell out of me? Let me start by saying that, aside from Kat and possibly Little Mo, I am not a fan of the Slater family. Charlie is a total waste of space; Big Mo is amusing at times; and Zoe is a whiner and a total pain. However, all of them are sterling citizens compared to the latest Slater offspring that we are now suffering . the nasty Stacey. Now we all know that .poor. Stacey has been treated badly. Her father was absent; it seems her brother .ran off.; and her mother is mentally ill and does not want her. She has apparently spent time with a number of foster families, all of which have proved disastrous. Stacey is like a dog that has been kicked and kicked again. All very sad, this is true, and normally I would feel very sorry for her, but Stacey is not someone that I can easily warm to; in fact I do not see myself ever doing so! Stacey does not respond to kindness. Like the beaten dog, she takes what she wants from any and everyone regardless of motive. She has learned to live by her wits and only seems to know how to get what she wants by cheating and stealing. When she confronted with her actions, she lies and hurls insults and vicious remarks at friend and foe alike. Stacey suddenly appeared in the Square and proceeded to .bite any hand that tried to help her.. She conned her way into the Slater household on a temporary basis and was able to curl Charlie around her little finger in no time. She quickly showed that she was willing and able to .tease and torment. to get what she wanted, be it a night out or some useless bauble. She has cultivated the ability to run circles around overworked social workers, family members and gullible youths, like poor old Spencer Moon. Actually, Spencer got what he deserved as he was doing a number on her in the first place. Once the masterful Charlie decided that Stacey could stay with his family, he told everyone to make her welcome and promptly sat down to watch the telly. I have to smile at Charlie.s attempt at .fatherhood. as it has been nothing short of pathetic until now. He is like so many men . he starts something and then collapses in his chair in front of the telly and only gets up to go to the pub. What a mensch! To be fair to Charlie, he did suggest that Stacey get a job, which proved to be nothing short of disaster. What he failed to notice was that little Miss Stacey had no intention of wasting her day working when she could steal what she needed or else con others into getting it for her. It would seem that Charlie has given up asking her to get a job since there appears to be no mention of her working in any storyline at present, and she is left to wander the Square like some predatory rodent picking up scraps here and there. Charlie expected Zoe to take Stacey to her bosom and treat her like a little sister. Perhaps this might have worked had Stacey not got a case of the hots for Dennis. Dennis now being an upstanding figure in society is willing to befriend her, but nothing more. Bravo Dennis . big crown for you in heaven! Rejection is not something our Stacey accepts, however, and she trails after him like an annoying, poorly trained dog in heat, much to the screaming annoyance of Zoe. You know, if Stacey could put this level of dedication and effort into school work and then college or even a job, I do not doubt that she could become a businesswoman or a success in some other profession. She is obviously smart, but seems incapable of noticing that her way of doing things is only going to lead to gloom and doom in the end. So she is probably going to mooch around the Square, going from bloke to bloke, conning money here and there until she finds some crook who will eventually get her pregnant, etc. A total waste of her talent! Charlie, filled with paternal wisdom and unaware of the intense dislike between .the sisters., suggests that Stacey help Zoe on her stall. Stacie does and thereby helps herself to cash and clothes, often without Zoe noticing. Meanwhile the animosity between the so-called sisters is fuelled by Stacey constantly telling Dennis that he can .do better. than waste his time with Zoe. Perhaps this is true, but she cannot quite grasp that he .ain.t gonna. suddenly turn to her! It seems that Stacey does not go to school and apparently has decided that she has .left.. To be honest, I was never a lover of traditional schooling, but it is unfortunate that we have yet another young person on the Square headed for nowhere with no education. We have not seen any kid graduate from college since Michelle Fowler . I don.t count Ash Ferreira, as he came as a university lecturer, but even he has given up his profession to drive a minicab. Does anyone think the BBC is hoping to discourage working-class people from .bettering themselves. via education? But this is a story for another occasion.

I am told that Stacey was a popular character in Britain. I find it difficult to understand this apparently senseless adoration. At present she is mooning aimlessly around the Square, stirring only to steal something from the Minute Mart as Patrick Trueman is too lazy to allow his responsibilities as owner to compete with his more frivolous pursuits with Jim Branning, such as propping up the bar at the Queen Vic or at the betting shop. Stacey is also becoming a dab hand at causing trouble among the populace. Her latest escapade was stealing a red undergarment from Zoe.s stall and placing the garment in the wash of Yolande Truman, Patrick.s wife, at the Launderette. Yolande had accused Stacey of stealing a bottle of wine from the Minute Mart, but she is too clever to be caught, she passes it to her accomplice of the moment. Stacey is offensive to Yolande and obviously begins to plan her revenge. Little actually comes of .the case of the offending undergarment. except to allow some on-screen time for Pauline and Dot. If I did not dislike Stacey so much I might be amused by her ingenuity! I appreciate that the BBC has often been criticised for not having many children in the show, but when they do appear do they ALL have to be crooks in the making? I cannot believe that the values of those living in the East End today are so different from those I knew as a kid. We all did a little thieving from stalls . such as sweets and fruit, nothing big . but we went to school, were boy scouts and spent time at the youth club. The BBC cannot decide which storyline to maintain and quickly loses interest in many that might have gone somewhere: whatever happened to the basketball team and the Social Centre? Obviously without some organized activity for kids outside of school, is it any wonder that their idle hands find work elsewhere? Anyway, I cannot wait for the day when someone has enough of Stacey.s .mouth. and smacks her there. Why they have put up with her rude and unpleasant remarks, I cannot understand (where is Phil when you need him?). I also wait for the police to knock at the Slaters. door to cart Little Miss Sticky Fingers away for some crime that she committed and I.ll watch with glee as she is sent to reform school. Perhaps you find my comments too harsh? I.m sorry. This kid is already incorrigible and can only get worse. and worse, more and more boring! Obviously Lerner and Loewe did not envisage a little girl like Stacey when they got Maurice Chevalier to croon and .thank heaven for little girls!.

You can read more stories by Charles S.P. Jenkins at: EAST END MEMORIES @ and LONDON TALES @
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