When EastEnders is Mysterious and Confusing


By Nancy Teel

EastEnders is a proven winner as entertainment because of its groundbreaking filming style and wholesome, unkempt characters. The zippy, 30-second scenes, the accuracy of several plot lines converging in perfect sequence and the realistic subject matter are all reasons why this British drama continues to impress and amaze. If one watches the drama for decades, however, some mysterious and confusing details begin to emerge. Let’s start off with the subject of boredom.

How can the citizens of Walford not be bored to tears with their jobs? Mark, Alfie, Kat and Zoe stand in dirty streets in freezing winters or muggy summers peddling the same gear day after day. Most adults would be bored out of their minds. Perhaps that is why market employees turn to despair or entertain themselves by antagonizing their competition and customers.

Another point is the youth of Walford. Wouldn’t any teen brought up in the Square be motivated to attempt “college” since it is free and the job opportunities in the East End are dismal?

For example, Sharon, Ian and Martin have lived their youth in Walford and have known since they were in nappies that running a mundane business with a limited clientele is their only option. A few young adults in the series have opened businesses but success was fleeting.

As business owners, many of the characters possess attention deficit disorder – closing up shop if an opportunity for a holiday arises, a tragedy occurs, or a tea break is required. It seems that the motors at the Arches would be piled to the sky considering how flaky Garry is and how fast Phil goes through mechanics. When Jamie works at the Arches, he is either on the receiving end of a fist, being fired, or lying for Garry.

Escapism is one of the favourite goals of these East Enders, and how could we blame them? But for normal people, departure from home takes some planning and time. Getting proper coverage for a job, finding minders for pets and plants, packing, and paying bills in advance are all tedious and timeconsuming chores for real people.

But not for the citizens of Walford, like Lisa, Mark, or Zoe, who, in a single afternoon, say farewell to friends and foes and walk away from responsibility with a small suitcase and one bag for the child. Finances are also intriguing. The jobs do not pay well, but there seems to be ample cash for airline tickets when needed. Most workers need to save for months to afford a holiday or an escape, but East Enders seem to be flush with cash when need be.

Visitors to Britain know how expensive it is to travel in a cab or sip drinks in the pub, but the citizens of Walford rarely worry about how many drinks they buy in a day or the price of cab fare when needed.

Also, prior to the job at the stall, Kat Slater did not seem to have any income, but she still strutted around the square in flashy finery and gobs of make-up. Who paid for that? Was she on the dole? Perhaps she was borrowing make-up from her sisters, but the clothes were not her style or fit, if Kat borrowed.

Another confusing observation is the floor plans of the council houses. Viewers have had 25 years to contemplate the living spaces, but some areas are still vague. Just how many bedrooms are in the Slater house? Who shares with whom? Is there one bathroom for six people? Do Charlie and Big Mo share a room, so that Kat has hers, and Garry and Lynne have theirs? Did Zoe and Kat share? Is there an extra room behind the living room?

In Pauline’s house, there are two extra rooms on the ground floor, one that housed Ethel in her final days and one that was decorated for a nursery when Pauline expected Sonia’s Chloe to live with them. But since those plot lines were concluded, the rooms are never used and goodness knows that the Fowlers could use the space. The nursery wall could have been knocked down, and then Pauline’s dining/living room would have been huge.

What about Pauline’s upstairs? Obviously she and Martin have their own rooms, but is there a third room up there? On Michelle’s wedding day, 20 years before, we saw her room, and Pauline has woken Martin in his own room a few times, but we have never seen Pauline’s bedroom. What could it look like? She never even comes downstairs in a nightgown! Morning, noon and night, she is dressed in her longsleeved shirt and pants.

In the 1990s, the then-married Bianca and Ricky lived in a spacious, two-bedroom flat, which they entered, via stairs, to the right of the Queen Vic. After that marriage ended, Lorraine and Joe, from Bolton, occupied the flat, but who lives there now? It was a nice spot and would have suited for Ian and Laura, unless they could only afford the one bedroom above the chippie.

Finally, another discrepancy is human energy. Doesn’t anyone ever need a nap? Peggy rested, fully dressed, after her breast cancer reconstruction, and Little Mo napped while medicated following Trevor’s torture, but it seems like the Walford crowd, no matter their age, can work all day, change into their posh clothes, then party at the pub or the E20 until closing time.

On occasion the characters would say that they would have a “night in”, but that phrase has not been heard for a very long time.

Perhaps this article is critical of a drama created to entertain and sometimes shock, and what good would it be if it focused on naps, college life, or floor plans? There are times, however, when the audience is thrown by a character’s exit, how people cope with small spaces, or how East Enders afford their escapades.

As in real life and in a winning soap opera, not every aspect will make sense, but perhaps the creators of EastEnders enjoy puzzling us and will never reveal how many bathrooms are in the Slater house or what has become of Pauline’s ground-floor rooms!

As Albert Einstein once said, “The fairest thing we can experience is the mysterious.”




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